i wish someone would call me. i never get phone calls. except at night from kota and holly and matt. but yeah. i only want to talk to kota really. and he calls so late taht i don't feel like talking then. i like to talk in the day. but people have lives, unlike me. i don't have lab all week. yay!
i only have a few more detentions. only 1 or 2. so yay. i'm gunna try riding the bus in the morning tomorrow. i might be late to school. oh well

when its comes to relationships. i'm the dumbest one. and i don't mean just with girls. i mean with everyone. ur illistrations always point out just whats wrong with me

well....that works for me i guess at the moment.


te quiero!!!

lizzie

well. i feel really odd. i don't know what i feel anymore. or what i think. its really weird. i miss feeling like i used to. i liked that. i had some sort of control of it. and i miss dion. i havn't talked to him since thurs. and i didn't talk to him on tues. and mer. i just. i worry. i worry that he cheats on me. and i worry that he's avoiding me. so i stopped calling. he'll figure that i want to talk to him. and i actually have stuff to talk about. i've told everyone else. and i need to see him. to actually show him how i am now. i need to show sarah too. even tho i'll get abused for it.

i don't care about crying anymore. i cry in front of people all the time now. i don't care. i don't care about biting people's heads off.

i want to be a happy person i think. i odn't like not being happy.

see ya later peoples,
liz

why am i afraid of the dark all of a sudden. i've never really enjoyed the dark before. but now i get all jumpy and i'm actually afraid of it. i dont' know why. i'm tempted to blame ellie and her making me watch that movie. but it wasw after the movie that i started being afraid. it was the morning when i heard noises coming from the dining room and i freaked out and i made andrew go downstairs before me. es i know...childish. but ever since then i've had only bad dreams and i'm afraid of the dark. i think i just keep freaking myself out. not good

i fell asleep at 7 10 and woke up at 2 10. i'm going back to bed soon i think. i keep worrying that i have hw. i know i have spanish and math and english. but spanish isn't til 3rd period. i have study hall 2nd. so i'll do it then. there's only about 5 pages out of my wb. so i'll have plenty of time. unless i get confused.

i look forward to the weekends more than i ever have in my life. its the only time i can actually take a second and observe whats going on around me. its insane. there's no more time for drama. i think some people are going to shock figuring that out. dss (drama shock syndrome) yep yep.

i miss some school tomorrow. hopefully only english and dance. i really dont' want to miss algebra. no no no no no no. if i miss that then i'm really bhind. i'm still catching up from when i was sick 2 weeks ago. i still need notes from jessica. and she needs some of my notes. we'll get it all figured out. i figure by next month everything will be figured out and ill get a routine and everything will be fine. i just have to keep telling myself to do the work.. don't give up. etc

i'm not spazzzy. what are u talking about.

i hate writing about my personal life. i don't know who all reads this.

i'm not happy. i don't know why. i was mad earlier today. but now i'm just not happy. i feel dull. i'm happy sometimes. when i'm with my lighter. but otherwise i just feel like a loaf of bread.

i figured out. when i'm mad at someone. i'm not really mad at them. i'm afraid of them. usually. i'm not going to give examples. unless ur just a dumbfuck. then i'm mad at u for being stupid

loves to all,
liz

save the last dance

ok. well the name of this story if u havn't figured out is save the last dance. its about this white girl sara who lived with her mom in the suburbs and went to a white school and had a bunch of friends. she was really into ballett dancing and she was competing for a big production and she really wanted her mom ther for auditions. but when her mom was racing for the auditions, she got in a car accident and died. so then sara had to go live with her dad in the ghetto. there she met this girl by the name of chenelle and they became friends. Sara also met chenelle's brother Derek. sara and derek fall in love but everyone there think its bad because derek is very smart and black. so all the other black girls think that sara is stealing the good black guys from them. but they don't know that they really love each other. anyways, derek teaches sara how to dance r&b style and also gets her back into ballett (she quit because her dad died) and in the end its all happy and blady blah...didn't really like the ending. but i love the movie

sally hansen

u like my new template? i think its less confusing than the other one.

i stayed home sick from school today. i really do not feel well. andrew's birthday is today. i wish him a happy birthday. i have to take anotehr shower today and make myself look pretty so we can go out to dinner. i can't talk much though. oh well. tomorrow i have so much stuff going on. i'm going to go insane. thats ok though. i found out. i don't have soccer tomorrow morning. its september 10th. woot. tomorrow i hopefully will se sarah. if mommy'll let me. im sick. so i duno what she'll say. maybe if i sleep alot otnight. i slept from about 8 am til 12. thats a long time don't u think. and i went to bed early for me. andrew doesn't believe i'm sick. he never does. i think he is just sore about something. he always is. but he got his ps2 back so he's happy. and i'm happy cuz he won't be bugging me about the computer. yay. i feel like such a nerd. thats ok though. dakota thinks im cute. thats cute. i think he's messed up in the head. oh well. he's never met me. so ha.

he loses.


loves all. ill prob. post later. i love you guys so much.


eve