shopping from hell

i hate shopping in malls. i always convince myself otherwise until i go there. all the people. all the noise. unless its with my friends...then its not as bad. but still bad. so many people look at me, talk about me. i hate it. my mom always thinks that when we go christmas shopping we're buying for her. so she buys twice as much for herself than she does for other people...

i finally bought izzy and dion and mari gifts. it took me a while...all i can think of to get sarah is the book. i hope you don't mind.

i don't feel like typing right now. or writing. or doing anything. i need to relax and just lay here. do nothing...

that would be nice,
liz

new years early list..i'll forget if i don't do this now

1. Was 2005 a good year for you? no...well. some parts were good. but overall...i've had better

2. What was your favorite moment of the year? my brithday. when it was the 4 of us and izzy fell for grapes

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year? one of the days in january...the one day with the tree and the song 'free'

4. Where were you when 2005 began? babysitting

5. Who were you with? 2 little kids across the street.

6. Where will you be when 2005 ends? hopefully at dion's house..

7. Who will you be with when 2005 ends? hopefully with dion and maybe chrissy

8. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? umm...probly not..

9. Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? Nope

10. Did you fall in love in 2005? out, and in, and out, and in

11. If yes, with who? if you don't know then stop reading this now

12. If yes, do they know? yes...

13. You regret it?? yes, no/yes , no

14. Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? yep. happiness

15. Did you make any new friends in 2005? mmhm...kota, jess, alex, alyssa, mark, nathan, d&p people, nick, amber (maybe?), dion, cory i guess.., chrissy, lots of other ppl...big year for me

16. Who are your favorite new friends? i don't have favorites

17. What was your favorite month of 2005? probly august or november

18. Did you travel outside of the US in 2005? ummm...maybe...i was close to canada...

19. How many different states did you travel to in 2005? flew to north carolina, drove to minnesota, canoed through canada, drove to indianapolis.

20. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? anyone die? no..lost. yes

21. Did you miss anybody in the past year? yes...

22. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? mr and mrs smith

23. What was your favorite song from 2005? no idea...

24. What was your favorite CD from 2005? crossfade probly

25. How many concerts did you see in 2005? a couple...3 maybe?

26. Did you have a favorite concert in 2005? crossfade

27. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? erm...no comment

28. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? no

39. How many people did you sleep with in 2005? sleep? erm...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,...maybe? the way u think tho, 2.

30. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? ashamed...probly. regret. nope

31. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? you're only going out with dion cuz his name sounds like tion...

32. Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? probly

33. Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? yes

34. How much money did you spend in 2005? enough

35. What was your proudest moment of 2005? winning the VMA's...

36. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? don't wanna talk about it

37. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be? nothing

38. What are your plans for 2006? be happy

i havn't posted in a long time. it doesn't feel like it tho. whatever.

i went completely psycho last night. i was really really hyper. and fake happy. but then i took a shower and i got really sad. then i watched a movie. i cried. but only when she was buying drugs and the guy took them from her and threw them down and started yelling at her. don't know why. the whole angel dying thing didn't affect me too much. i mean, i felt sorry, but it wasn't as bad as some other parts for me. i don't know..i can't watch movies where people die cuz i know they arn't really dead. they're off stage watching the thing...

i keep feeling like i'm cheating on dion. but i'm not. and i keep feeling like he's cheating on me. and i don't think he would. a part of me knows that he loves me compeltely, but the other part tells me that he doesn't. i don't know what to think.
i can't be friends with guys anymore. they always think i like them if i just talk to them. only about 3 guys respect me and dont' do anything to me. all the other ones always try something. i hate it. and it makes me feel bad. like its my fault. its all happening again.


mer

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i'll stop before i get carpol tunnel