i'm afraid to sleep now. for the past three nights i've had bad dreams. i woke up at 4 30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. i had 4 hrs of sleep. the first night i don't remember what happened. the second i was locked in my basement and i was chased by nazi-like people. last night. sarah ellie and i were walking on grinstead and a man with long dark hair pulled up in a car and had a knife. sarah ran away and hid. ellie faced him down and said that he looked more like a killer than a raper. so he took us with him to a house. the 24th apartment on 24th street and a bunch of other 24's. he raped us. and he was about to kill us. and i woke up. then i sat in my bed for 20 min thinking how if that were to happen that i would defend myself and what would work and what would get me killed faster. blady blah blah.

it was still freaky. now i'm afraid to go to my bus stop.
i'm afraid to sleep
i'm afraid to be by myself.

lots of bad things have happened the past couple days. weeks. months. i'm a fucking angsty teen. this grrrr...

dion's not helping

mer