so many bad things are happening.
sarah's mom is a whore.
alyssa is making my ellie sad.
ellie is just sad in general.
tion is gah.
matt is even gahier.
and then there's dion. and he's gah right now.
the only person i'm not frustrated with is kota for the moment.
i have spacers in, and my head hurts.
i threw up in soccer today. my body hurts.
i'm under a ton of stress.
i had little sleep.
i'm listening to the rubber soul beatles cd. over and over...good memories. but it still depresses me.

why do i feel like crying. i've wanted to cry for a long time. but i just can't seem to. i havn't cried for a month...or longer (except when ginger died. but that was the only time).i really want to...i'm so close to it. but not a single tear will come out. they just linger there, right in reach. but not enough. none of this can make me cry. why is this?