goodbye ginger

Yesterday afternoon my dog died. i still can't believe its true. i keep remembering everything about her. the way when i was young i would dress her up and put her in a big baby carriage and wheel her around. i would try and chase her around the front yard and never succeed. she was always too fbast and too smart. then i also remember how she would lay under the chairs downstairs in the lobby and watch the other dogs come in and she would play with them. then she got older and she would bite my cousins. they were always afraid of her. she never bit me in my life. even when i was younger. they never got to see the good part of ginger that i loved. then about 3 weeks before school ended, she got ran over by a car. a sunday morning at 9 am. they called my house and i was the one who picked up the phone. i didn't want to becaues i was too tired. but i did. and they told me my dog had been run over. i ran outside and found her in the middle of the road. bleeding. her arm completely ruined. i had some lady who lived nearby take me in her jeep to the emergency vet hospital. there mom met up with us and ginger was put on lots of pain medication and lots of shock medication. she was actually doing very well for a dog of her age and her size. and she wasn't freaking out like most dogs do. but then dad wouldn't take gingre for some dumbass reason. so dad eventually took her the next morning, but didnt look at her for 3 hours. then he said he's going to have to amputate her leg because it was too late to fix it. it was too late cuz he left her in a cage and didn't yhelp her for three fucking hours. i won't ever forgive my dad for killing my dog that day. after he amputated her leg, she got really skinny and didn't eat much. but then after 3 weeks she started doing better. she was doing really well for a whil. then in the past week she stopped barking, and she stopped walking around. last thursday night i let her sleep in my room. i'm so glad i actually did. it makes me feel good. it was the night i stayed up with her til 2 am cuz she wouldnt sleep. i finally carried her up to my room and let her sleep on my clothes. then saturday i saw her and i tried to help her walk from the sunroom to the living room. but then andrew started yelling at me so i walked to him instead. now i wish i would've carried her all the way to the kitchen. or wherever she wanted. i feel so bad. thats the last thing i did to her. i left her. i walked away from a dying dog. i feel so horrible. mom called me yesterday and told me she died. we were going to kill her today anyways. at least she died on her own now. instead of us killing her. i would never forgive mom if she killed ginger. i'm going to miss her so much. she was my only pet for so many years. and i've known her since she was born.

when she was 2yrs old she was left in a box at the movie rental place in corydon. she had 2 broken back legs. they took her to my dad and my dad fixed her back legs. she then learned how to walk with broken legs, on a weird handstand like way. she kept up her spirit and she got better. mom fell in love with her and kept her. rita, a worker for us, named her ginger. then when i was 10 she had surgery on her hips, i don't know why, but she did. and apparantly that was supposed to help her. she was very strong and she lived through that. which is amazing

i'm never going to forget my dog. she was my first one ever. i have pictures of her. and someday i'm going to post thm on here. i didn't want her to die. for the past 2 yaers i've been thinking of her dying. and it always made me tear up. how could she just be gone like this. i don't understand. i feel so bad i didn't yget to say goodbye to her. i don't know what i'm going to do without her.